the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i dont even know how to be here
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
