Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My ass is underappreciated
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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