i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
