I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
