Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize