it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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