I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize