my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
