Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
