I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
