please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
