Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
