new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
