She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
