Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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