There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
