But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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