I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
ok first of all what the fuck
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
