God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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