filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
