apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
