i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
