If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
soo... how was my night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
