Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
