He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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