Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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