He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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