Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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