Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
