i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
