Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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