So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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