Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
