yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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