Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize