She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
