idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
