its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
