Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
