do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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