she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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