How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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