No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
