I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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