Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
