She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize