I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize