hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
