Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
