you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
