I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
