make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This house was built for laser tag.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
