What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
