What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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