I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
