Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
