The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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