I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
