Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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