Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I would fuck him just for his dog
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
