Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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