# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
