At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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