also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
