my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
