whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize