She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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