Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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