O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
