i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
