he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
