My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
