Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
