At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
