my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
