I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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