His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
